Speaking of Grace

Barefoot on the beach...

2011-10-17T09:43:00.001-07:00

Just enjoying life and all the new thrills through the eyes of a two year old.

~S

Making me smile...

2011-07-26T11:50:00.000-07:00

My baby sister is now a newlywed. My house was the backdrop for this beautiful couple to say I do...

my nephew was the "best little dude" and played dual roles for my sister and new brother in law.

My dad and my sister rocked out!

My older sister and I at the rehearsal...

And last but certainly not least, my Avery Grace with her "long hair", she left this towel on for a good hour...

life is good...with long hair~

Beach babe

2011-04-13T11:37:00.000-07:00

The beach. We bought a place at the beach. I am nervous and excited and ready for summer. I cannot wait to make memories that Avery Grace will remember forever. That will seer her soul and allow her to pass the fun to her children and theirs, the "remember when's" that only the beach can allow. I think back on all of our family treks to Florida to soak up the salt and the sun, and think of long car rides and learning to swim in the condo pool, fishing on the levy with my dad, smelling the salty air our night walks on the beach.

I am ready for a sandy summer. I am ready to start making memories, the ones that last, the ones that love.

Order.

2011-01-31T06:36:00.000-08:00

I am feeling a bit discombobulated. The walls around me are closing in, I can't find socks that match, the key to the car...a reason to write on this here blog, with the exception of a reason

not to post as a post to post.?.

Anyway I am searching, probably more wandering than searching, looking for structure, organization, order. Hopefully the presence of mind to get my sugar together, or at the very least, give my sock drawer a much needed makeover.

I took these pictures in Florence this past summer, the seem to have their sugar all together.

**sigh**

Different

2010-10-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned before that my girl has 2 different colored eyes? She does. One is blue and one is a caramel brown. Upon our pediatrician's request I took her at a young age to see an eye doctor. She is fine, perfect indeed, just a pigmentation abnormality. So I know that vision has nothing to do with color, but a part of me hopes that the different hues allow her to have different views. Maybe. But for now she will be my little 18 month old blue eye brown eye beauty.

Rockin' Out.

2010-10-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

We have been crazy. Rockin' out to our own music, singing, travelling, trying to stay upright. My girl is 18 months old. She is a pistol. Her very own person. When we are snuggling up and she is almost asleep I think back about the tiny person I brought home and how much I wondered about who she would become, who I would become. And although her temper can rival an irish man not minding his pints, she is an entire life I have been waiting for, and as each day passes I am thankful for every single moment.

Peek...

2010-03-15T13:34:00.000-07:00

I have been busy. Not in a rushed I have so much going on sort of way, but I have been busy. Nibbling on theses toes and holding these hands as these chubby legs try to hold up an almost one year old girl.

I can hardly believe that my sweet baby will be one in two weeks. My God time does fly, life does pass quickly, I have been holding on tightly to each day. She is the smile in my mind when I need to remember why I am doing everything I am doing to make our life great. So while busy is relative, it is my life right now. Big things are coming and I cannot wait to share, but right now, little legs are ramming a Jeep walker into my shin, off to play and get some slobbery kisses!

Lined with Silver

2010-02-12T14:29:00.000-08:00

I guess I found it...the glimmer of beauty after being stuck inside with a sick babe, who has resorted to some sort of growling, I don't know, it is a tad alarming, I digress...silver lining, glimmer, something good...whatever you call it, this sunset did it for me.

happy weekend ~S

Snowed in...

2010-02-11T11:59:00.000-08:00

Today, as was yesterday and come to think of it everyday for the past 6 days has been a day of digging out. Sick of the snow and the constant news reports and daily updates of how much and whose dealing with it how and going a little stir crazy. I have knocked all the icicles from my gutters as my dad has instructed, so they don't "rip those babies right off", and I did walk down to get the mail, a big shout out to the USPS! Bit I would love to go somewhere, like Bermuda, a grassy hill in the park, anywhere but inside natures walls of white. But alas, I sit indoors, on my arse in front of the computer while my Avery Grace naps. The sun is shining the ice is dripping and I am out of words to type...

i think i want...

2010-01-29T07:15:00.001-08:00

My girlfriend has a little purple store in our little historic town, lilac bijoux is its name, and inside this lilac wonderland is a necklace that I think I want...or maybe need. I am not a big wearer of flashy jewels, but I keep looking at this little number...the best part is that her mom made it...lovely.

We've been bit.

2010-01-28T10:16:00.000-08:00

My poor girl has been bit by the stomach bug that is going around. Her poor little face when she throws up makes me feel so helpless. This is definitely one first I wish I could take back.

Ahhhh thank God for a nap.

the maintenance of memories...

2010-01-20T12:23:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things is when Avery Grace falls asleep laying on my lap...the sweaty ringlets that matte her hair and leave little dabs of moisture on my arm. I try to remind myself to make the mental note "don't forget the way this feels, don't forget the way her tiny breathe smells sweet and cool as you carry her to her crib" I know that time is short with a growing babe, everyday is a milestone, every moment is one to remember, how can we keep it all together?

My sister is an amazing memory recorder, her families historian if you will. Scrapbooks and yearly albums for all THREE of her babies! My girls baby book is full...of every first and receipt and card and sealed letter I have written, not in a set place, just stuffed in the pages for a rainy day of "getting organized"...if I have my sister reading right now she just choked out a laugh, as I have placed organized and I in the same sentence. However I just returned from a visit with my family, I went through photos that my grandmothers had in treasure boxes and flowery albums, flagging those for copies that were important or that caught my eye. After looking at so many and my mother straining to remember who and what and how...I realized the importance of creating a system to help my future generations remember. SO I am preparing to be a better recorder, both with this blog as with my memories and my families memories. My girl will grow to know her past through stories and pictures and my voice, and hopefully in an organized fashion that will not leave her guessing "who the hell is this!" Wish me luck...

Gosh Darn this is cold!

2010-01-08T12:39:00.000-08:00

I am freezing. To my core. Thankfully it is Friday and this weekend only involves a little pampering, ala mani-pedi, and some precious down time with my girl.

If you need me, I will be on this sofa, in front of this fire. Of course that will be AFTER I take down that tree.

Good New Year

2010-01-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

2010. Hello. It is surreal that the year has passed so quickly and that my life has changed so very much. I have become a completely different person, thanks to the angel who entered my world 9 months ago exactly to the date of this new year. My house evolved into a home. My marriage into a true or truer partnership. My heart into an abyss of every emotion I can't explain, only feel. This passed year I became a mother. I pray for the ability to make 2010 the best. I was going to post my list of this years what to do's, but I think I will leave that list for next December 31st, and list my what did's, it will make a much better list! Hope the New Year was grand for you all!!!!

AG on her rockin' jet ski Papa made for her!!!!

Baby its cold outside...

2009-12-17T08:09:00.000-08:00

It is freezing. My girl cannot stand to be cold, but has an equal disdain for covers and coats. So big sweaters and hats are mandatory. She is going to be a handful, and quite honestly, I cannot wait!

Nothing would warm me up more than being a winner! The t.ruffle girls are throwing themselves a little "goin' away for the holiday break" giveaway, if you're feelin' lucky visit Karey for the details. I hope I get picked, I would love to get this little pretty

and give this one to someone, who sometimes forgets.

So if you want a chance at some beeeeautiful eye candy with words that make your mind swirl and your heart dance, head over for a chance to win!

If you are on the east coast like me, stay warm, a cold couple of days are in store!

Pictures via the T.ruffle shoppe

My girl and her many faces.

2009-12-10T07:40:00.000-08:00

My girl is SO expressive, I fear the many faces of my Avery Grace will lend a hand to an early age of eye rolling and looks to her daddy that will lead to getting whatever. she. wants.

Sometimes I feel that my heart is literally braking...yes...braking, stopping the flow so I can absorb the moments to remember. She is my favorite smell, my favorite color, my favorite place to be. Matt always says, "she is going to break my heart", and having already been a teenage girl, I know this is true, sass is a gift from her mother and she will indeed leave him there in a crumpled heap should her way not be gotten.

The holidays are upon us and if Avery Grace could get her hands on those ornaments and sparkly lights it would be all over. I love getting in the mood for Christmas and the excitement of a growing babe only makes the holidays that much more fun from here on out!

Girlfriends...

2009-11-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

I have many, I do not see them everyday, I do not talk to them weekly, and for that I feel a finger tapping out a shame. shame. shame. But I know them. I know that time changes our appearance and that distance makes weekly dinner and drinks not just difficult but downright impossible. I know that when I find that they are sad, when life hands them a fistful of icantbelievethisishappeningtome, I want to be at their front door with a cure, even though we both know that one does not exist. I know that phone calls and e-mails help, that reading words from someone who cares make you feel less alone.

I hope they know that this is true. I know I love them as if they were my sisters (a couple are), even if it has been too long since we stayed up too late laughing until we cried. Even if time has given us creases. Even if distance has given us a delay. I hope they know, I know.

Old times, some of the best times...

Friendly neighbor...

2009-11-06T05:51:00.000-08:00

After a night of listening to the rain fall I woke to a sunny morning, and thank you daylight savings, it was an early sunny morning.

My neighbor was up early as well, he or she I can never tell, had just caught breakfast and decided to not share with the nest.

Happy Friday, may a weekend of goodies await.

Boot love...

2009-11-03T09:10:00.001-08:00

I found a boot, I saved the picture, probably until I had saved enough cash to make it mine, now I have NO idea how to find my crush.

Anyone know whose lovely eye designed this baby?Maybe someday...

Day Late or so...

2009-11-02T15:54:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween! A few short hours of sun and breezy calm allowed for some fun on Halloween night. We enjoyed a quiet evening. My little lamb was sleepy and not very happy about being dressed up, so a quick photo shoot and then off to bed.

Dressing up an unwilling child had me thinking about future Halloweens when she makes costume choices that baffle my mind and are too mature for her little soul, I will look back to the sweet innocent little lamb and laugh at how times change.

Happy Birthday Dad.

2009-10-29T10:24:00.001-07:00

My father is...well, himself. What you see is what you get. He loves with his whole heart. He is temperamental and moody and can be as ornery as one sixty plus year old man can. He is my dad. He has been through his own form of hell, pain, loss, hurt and fear, he would say, I suppose we all have, in some form or another. He says restrant when talking of a place to go out and eat. His favorite phrase is “there. you.go.” for just about anything that he agrees with and that he feels he should comment. Once you have been around him for any length of time you somehow adopt said phrase and use it as well. He helps strangers. When I was a child people said I was his spitting image, of that I was proud. After thirty years of watching my mom, myself and my sisters head off to church every Sunday, he now joins my mom each Sunday for mass. He loves to be outdoors. He can fix anything. His ability as an artist is his true gift, a gift he keeps close to his heart and shares only with family.
My daughter will call him Papa, as do all of his grandchildren. He makes duck sounds and vairous whistles to make my girl laugh, smile and give him attention. He gives strong hugs. He is honest even when it hurts, you or him. Without his love I am not sure where I would be.
Saturday is his birthday. No tricks or treats, just my memories and wishing him a happy day.

Love you dad, happy early birthday.

Tuning in.

2009-10-27T11:42:00.000-07:00

The holidays are approaching at a rapid speed. I can't think about Halloween without thinking pumpkin, which leads to pie which leads to thoughts of baking for Thanksgiving which leads to Black Friday (in a former life would have led to an awesome celebration in the retail world in which I once lived) now I think that I need to get on the ball shopping for Christmas. I believe every year the holdiays come and go faster and faster, or it is just the older I get the less I remember and the lack of processing allows time to fly. Whichever it is I was not prepared to walk into the store yesterday to "Sleighbells ring are ya listenin'" and I don't even think I was paying attention to the tune until I began to sing it to myself as I browsed the shelves...and here it is a full twenty four hours later and I am still a singin'. Here they come ready or not.

This picture has no relative meaning to my post however, when I left the Holiday drenched store this guy was waiting in the opposite parking spot from me...I believe he enjoyed my singing.

~S

Ouch...what a weak

2009-10-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

I feel weak this week. It has been emotionally draining to say the very least, a previous visitor is back at my house that I am not ok with, it has been a week for the books with Ave, and I am in need of a weekend away!

To top off the week we started like this yesterday...

and after a mishap with the sitter and a stroller malfunction ended the day like this...

Whew...bring on some weekend happies!

Perfect.

2009-10-06T20:44:00.000-07:00

I am trying to find the right words for this post. For the past...let's say 5 months I have been uneasy, about my house, my marriage, my existence. I have questioned where I actually belong, where my so called "station" in life is grounded. I fear losing "it", whatever "it" may be, I guess I have always questioned trust, and honesty. BUT today, I believe that I trusted that I would hear that my daughter's 6 month check up would be nothing but "she is perfect" "Moving right along". The Doctor's apprehension could have been A LOT worse, I know, the what if's are a lot easier to look at than the what are's, nevertheless, I am thinking about both. My girl needs evaluating, she needs assessment, she is my perfect girl, but something is not allowing her to be that to everyone else. She will be, I don't doubt it, she is amazing and strong, and even as imperfect, she is amazingly perfect.

Strike a Pose...

2009-10-02T06:33:00.000-07:00

I am telling you, she is getting big...sitting up in the tub...too big for her britches my Mimi would say.

She makes me laugh. Every. Single. Day.

Have a great weekend, going to enjoy the few days with my parents who are in town for a couple of days. Hope the days are sunny!

Touch...

2009-09-18T08:06:00.001-07:00

What if tomorrow were your last day? What if i were to leave this world, would the people I love the very most know how I what they meant to me? Have I done enough to show those who touch my life everyday how I feel about them? In today's society I think we have so much technology, so much wiring that the word touch seems almost a violation of ones space. I think back to receiving letters in the mail, ones from my great grandparents or my grandparents (ones I still have today) but those letters touched me, made me sit and read and think. That trip from the mailbox to the house was so great I could not wait to rip open the envelope. Don't get me wrong I love that I can send a letter to my parents with a push of a button and they can respond in seconds with questions or comments. But the actual paper in your hands with smudges of pen and the sometimes strain to figure out my Memaw's handwriting, that was touching. I write letters to my daughter, I place them sealed in her baby book, for her to find one day and read my thoughts of how she touches my life everyday. I hope she keeps them and knows that her touch is the best gift I have been given.

Funny..

2009-09-14T14:56:00.000-07:00

Life is. Funny. I think about all if the "stuff" I want to do, in one day, in one month, for the rest of my life, and when I have an actual day to think and plan and prepare, I feel that it has been wasted. Grant it with this face how can their ever be a wasted day

But seriously. I got a killer work out in, but I still feel that the day

has escaped me with no real gains on what I am going to do.

I am working 2 days a week, not keeping up with this blog, if anyone still reads this that would be a miracle because I have not been diligent at the writing. I love to write. Scratch that, I loved to write, I could sit for hours with pen and paper and have a flowing sonnet or simple ideas that would come together as an eloquent letter. For some reas

on the translation has been lost when it comes to typing, I can still put the ideas to words, but not in the form that they used to take through my pen.

I would love to write everyday, I need to write everyday, it soothes me it really does, that is if I can take the time to do it!

SO today is my day, I am stating that I am going to write, I am going to focus on what is to be and how I am going to raise this little girl to become a woman who is sure of herself!!!

Sailing...takes me away to where I'm going...

2009-06-30T08:01:00.001-07:00

I just returned from a loooong weekend in Florida, a friends baby shower allowed some time away from the norm for Matt, Avery Grace and I. Some time in the sun, a dip of my toes in the warm ocean and some solid reflection of days passed.

I lived in Florida for almost 2 years, a lucrative corporate purchase landed me in the sunshine state, and allowed me to meet some amazing people, all the while hating the job and pondering my place in life. The thought of that free spirit crept into my brain the entire trip. I had no worries. I was in all accounts a kid right out of college and living my life like I wanted. For me. I could do no wrong. Until I realized that I had already been the kid out of college, I had already lived "that" life. Florida allowed me to want more, allowed me to think long and hard about the path my life was taking. I appreciate the opportunity it afforded me, in the life department, the career department was a bust, but I have more now than I could have ever achieved trying to climb a ladder. I have my amazing little family, I have a beautiful house and the ability to think freely. I miss my friends like CRAZY! Calling the girls for last minute happy hour OR dinner at the house was a gift. I treasure my memories. I look forward to visits and more memories, and I thank the state of beaches, blue hairs and big fake boobs for the friends and gifts it has given me.

"I can't wait"

2009-06-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

I find myself thinking this thought often, little things, I can't wait for the weekend, the evening when my husband gets off work, the storm to pass, to big things...like I can't wait to see what kind of girl my baby will be, what kind of teenager, woman, mother...I think we all are guilty of wishing for the future so that we can know the outcome, not to change, but to appreciate. I have to take a moment when the "can't waits" creep up on me and think that each day I have to teach and raise and just stare at my daughter are the best days of my life, I would never wish to wish them away. I can wait, this face is worth the wait.

and so are these toes!

WHEW...what a journey!

2009-05-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

My body is no longer stretched to capacity...

But my heart has never been so full...
Avery Grace was born on April 1st, after an induction that did not take and a weekend full of contractions, she finally decided that she would make her 6.15 pounds debut! Taking time away from all venues to get adjusted to my new life has been exactly what I needed. She has all of my attention and I am so glad that she is happy and healthy and stylin...

Matt and I have not totally gotten used to the sleep schedule but we are getting closer. She is such a great baby! I am hoping to continue to work from home and who knows maybe start a new venture that would require no office time! For now I am just enjoying being mommy to my girl!

Still Kicking...

2009-02-27T08:57:00.000-08:00

Time flies when you are having fun, or anxiously waiting and getting bigger by the minute! I am about 20 days away from my due date and truly hoping that this little girl is excited about getting out and not a procrastinator (as her mother tends to be!). She is "in the position" and ready to go so I am thinking in the next 2 weeks we will get to see her beautiful face!
This is me at 37 weeks...whew...I AM READY!

Funny how this side shot makes me look so much smaller than I acutally am or at least feel. I will try to be more diligent about posting, I have just been swamped with working and getting her room ready, which is turning out better than I even expected!

Have a great weekend! ~S

Back from the...

2009-01-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

I am back. Two weeks with my family and feeling rejuvenated. I am ready for these final 11 weeks. I am feeling the pressure of the “to do” list but ready to conquer it and get the house (as well as myself) baby ready.

I am not on the New Year…new resolution band wagon. I whole heartily believe in setting goals and a new year does allow for new reflections, however with me, I think I have my hands full with enough new for a couple of years. This year I am sticking to just being the best mom I can be, I think the rest will work itself out. Here is a little 3-D shot of my baby girl, these "insider" shots can be a little creepy but her little face is so sweet, I cannot help but be in love.

Baby Girl...

2008-11-13T12:46:00.000-08:00

She has her hand resting on her forehead as if to say "enough already...darn paparazzi." I am so excited. I cannot wait until March 26th, which happens to be my mom's birthday. I know that the date is not set in stone and she will make her glorious presence whenever she feels the need, but it is fun to say that she will be Granna's gift.

My husband and I returned from New York last week and had a wonderful time. Thank you Courtney for all of your recommendations. We were there only 3 days but felt like a week! We took in a show and basically ate our way through the city. It was exhilarating to see the marathon and all of the cheering friends and family members in Central Park.

It was good to return to a quiet home after the busy city. My house guest made his leave before we departed, which I hope goes well for him. I pray that we all find our way.

And so it goes...

2008-10-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

I have two sisters, one sister in law and three brother in laws, a big melting pot of extended family that puts the fun in dysfunction.

My family (two sisters and one of the brother in laws) live in Louisville. My husband’s family is closer, here in Maryland and one brother in law is even closer, as in, here…staying in my home.

This along with being 4 and ½ months pregnant is my current struggle. My brother in law is an addict. He was doing great in a program but he lost his way and fell off that bumpy wagon and my husband was quickly called to scoop him up into the safety of our home. It has been 11 long days of worrying and anxiety.

He has stayed with us before. It ended badly. Drugs, a prostitute, my guest bedroom and a warrant were involved.

This is my frame of reference, this is the corner of my mind from where I draw the conclusion to my questions of “what to expect”. I have been supportive, well semi-supportive of my husband, my brother in law is still in our home. I am beginning to resent my brother in law. He has not attempted to help himself once since arriving. He has not had a drink, and while this IS a big step for an addict, I cannot help but think that being a recluse in your brother’s home is any way to help work on the real problem.

The “where to next” has not been defined. My husband and I fight nightly and either the baby is growing at a rapid speed or I have an ulcer.

My family is in Louisville. I think about going. I can’t. I won’t. But right now, in my own home I feel I am the one with the problem.

Thank You Ma'am...

2008-09-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well it is official I am a Ma’am. I stopped for gas the other day and the young boy working (who I see all the time and have never been anything but joking and cool with him) told me “thank you Ma’am” to which I smiled and shook my head and said “oooh don’t call me Ma’am” and of course he replied “sorry Ma’am”, to which I replied “Damn”.

I appreciate manners. I grew up in a household where manners were required, and taught at a very young age. In addition to the usual Please and Thank you, when replying yes or no to a question we would have to include Sir or Ma’am in our response, especially to grandparents and parents, that was HUGE and if forgotten would result in a “what do you say” from my mom or dad. I guess a lot of people think it is a southern “thing” but I always thought it was just good manners. When asking “can I” my Papa would always respond “I don’t know can you” to which a quick “may I” would follow. Now that I am having a child of my own I struggle with the Ma’am and Sir response, should I teach this, will it be over the top…will someone *ahem* cuss at my child for using these precious manners?

I guess it all falls into place, I mean I still use the manners I was taught daily and surly little effers that have no manners drive me insane, so I guess like all things a happy medium is where you end up, and you just have to be thankful for what your children absorb.

But I still hate being a Ma’am because in my manners lessons it meant you were old.

~S

Beginnings, Blessings and Being.

2008-08-28T06:26:00.000-07:00

So today is the day I shall share…71 days…pregnant.

Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Excited. Scared.

I have a flurry of emotions, the hormone party I am currently hosting is to blame for the most part. But above that, I have always known my body, when something was wrong I knew what, how to fix it, which Doctor to call, which medicine to take. Now that I am sharing this body I am scared. I am scared that I do not know anything, that I might mess up the very thing I have been trying so hard to make happen. I have a niece and 3 nephews. I have watched my sisters thrive in their pregnancies and have watched many friends have beautiful babies. I keep thinking “just stay and grow” as if my body, the one I have know so well may turn on me and allow he\she to simply walk away.

I am focusing on the positive, preparing for each new trimester, first over now onto the second. One down two to go. I guess my thinking is normal. I guess I fear that speaking these thoughts to my friends and family will make me seem naïve or depressed or negative. So I type because it is less intimidating and honestly I don’t think or feel that I am naive or depressed or negative.

I am beginning my 2nd trimester. I am blessed. I am very blessed, and I am happy. But right now I think I am just Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Excited. Scared. and for right now on this 71st day that is how I am...that is me.

~S

Stress...

2008-08-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

I travel everyday over this bridge...to and from work, it is why I have road rage, or bridge rage as it is often referred. But every now and then, the beauty of the water and the bridge captivate me. I have witnessed the most amazing fog, that lies directly above the water and makes you question what is below. However, this weekend was definitely a tough bridge weekend. Saturday required a trip to the "Western Shore" to go to the Doctor at 10AM. The traffic heading back across was a good 2 hour back up. Crazy! So I visited with friends, browsed a couple of my favorite shops and then picked up my husband at the airport and headed home at 9 PM. Days like Saturday make me ram my head on the steering wheel as to why we moved over the bridge.

Then yesterday as if God heard my cry of possible insanity he gave a day of glory and made the picture abundantly clear as to why we moved...

As if he said "relax...take a load off". So I did. It was a perfectly relaxing Sunday, the sun, my hammock and a book!

Hope everyone had an amazing weekend! ~S

Oh I wish

2008-07-24T13:39:00.001-07:00

My husband would go for this...

I love these floors. I want these floors, oh and the wicker chairs...would take those too!

My front door dilemna...

2008-07-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

My front door used to be white. I am not crazy about the door, as I would love to have a really sweet old wooden door. However this is the door that came with the house and it is staying until I can convince my husband otherwise! We painted the door a pale blue/aqua we were going for a beachy theme, as we live on the water in a cedar house. Anyway, I liked the door at first, then I started thinking it was toooo much as the door is too modern for such a dramatic color, now I just don't know...take a peak, tell me what you think.

Before ~ Boring!
After~Better?My grass looks so green! I wish it were still this green.
Have a great day!
~S

YUMMMM

2008-07-10T08:52:00.000-07:00

My husband hates one of my favorite meals, so without telling him what we were having, I made fish tacos! If you are fan of fish tacos try these, they are a little different and the ingredients are a little weird at first, but the flavors meld together perfectly...they are AWESOME!

Ingredients:
Mahi
Carrots
Olives
Scallions
Sour Cream
Dill (or store bought dill sauce)

To make: marinte mahi for 10 minutes in with fresh lime juice, olive oil and salt and pepper. Heat grill. While fish is marinating chop carrots, olives and scallions. Mix dill and sour cream.
(amounts will vary depending on how much of which ingredient you like more...with mine it appears in the picture I am in love with sour cream) Grill the fish for 4 minutes on each side (may be longer depending on size and thickness of fish). Break fish into pieces place into white corn torilla and top with olives, carrots, scallions and dill sauce. Eat.

Let me know if you try them.

Enjoy!

Found Beauty

2008-07-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

My family has traveled back home to Louisville (I will post pictures soon) and I am wrapping things up in my soon to be old office. Things are hectic, I am waiting to hear from prospective employers, and wondering if I really want to hear from the employers to whom I have sent my resume, I am thinking about changing things up all together, nervous what changing things up means...

Anyway in all of this confusion and the muddled thoughts that pour through my brain I found time to stop and smell the roses, my nose was my cell camera and the rose was this awesome rainbow that seems to lift from the Bay as if saying ~ look at me. take a breathe. life goes on. even after this storm. the sun is still shining.

I have changed my outlook from holy crap what am I going to do to an outlook of what can I do, what do I want to do! I am beginning a journey and the pot of gold at the end will be the satisfaction that I have found work or a job or a talent or whatever I CHOOSE that makes me truly happy.

Napoleon ain't got nothin' on me...

2008-06-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

This is quite possibly the best picture my sister has taken of my nephew to date, if not the best, the funniest. My nephew, Cal, has no idea who Napoleon Dynamite is and quite frankly he does not care. His imagination rules his world. I called the house the other day to a 3 year old voice announcing "911 we have a fire at our house".

But this picture...the shorts, the ski boots (also known as Spiderman shoes), the full belly...I could hug him for hours!

Missing the kiddos! 1 week and counting to the best visit of the summer!

My Security Blanket

2008-06-19T10:41:00.000-07:00

When I was younger I had a yellow waffle knit blanket that had possibly a brown bunny and maybe green frog printed on the fabric? Was this my security blanket? I don't know, I do know that it is the only blanket that is in the treasure troves of my "keep box" sitting high upon my bedroom shelf at my parent’s house. I keep thinking that if I had a security blanket today would I use it? Would it bring me the same comfort from bedroom monsters? I have been thinking and wondering, do we actually possess a pseudo security in our grown lives? In that thought I have been racking my brain that if I did have a security...something, what would it be? Do I carry it with me often and just not associate the fact that I have it with me as keeping me secure. If so, what in our adult lives do we need security from, not monsters and if we do not need protection the question is then is a security something more of a habit?

So after thinking of what is on my person the most, I have come up with...drum roll please....my jean jacket. I noticed it with me in the picture in my previous post, I notice it either on, in my purse or draped over my arm in many pictures. I love my jean jacket, even with it’s' holes and tears from my abnormally pointy, bony elbows. I trust that it will keep me warm on cool days as well as in air conditioned rooms and that it will shield the rain from my hair so as to prevent a day of frizz. I love my denim jacket with the pink stitching (replacing the kaki stitched look alike that had to be put down due to elbow holes too big to hide) I never leave home with out it, I trust that it will fulfill its purpose and darn it, I look good... So I rely on my jean jacket to get me through cool nights, cool days, whether happy or sad, dress up or dress down...(with the exception of jeans, I have never been a fan of the denim suit) I have security in my jacket. What is your security/habit/freaky weird personal possession?
*** That's right my friends, she was there that day too! Just for the after party, it was October!

~S

A Little Sisterly Love

2008-06-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

My sister visited this weekend. After the life altering events of last week I was really feeling blue until she arrived. I tried boosting my spirits with my amazing self held self help pep talks, however they did not raise my mood and led me to question whether talking to yourself in the car on the way to a job which you no longer work was actually a) safe, as I drive over a 7 mile bridge and b) a sign that possibly I should be talking to someone else.

Back to my sister, Ann brought some light on the subject and my mood, we laughed, laid by the pool and played cards. I miss her already. I wish my sister Erin could have joined us, but alas we will all be together in 2 weeks and I am counting the days.

I am truly doing some major soul searching, looking to what drives me, and what makes me happy. I am going to focus inward to find the answers and hopefully a recipe for happiness.

Goodbye Old Life...

2008-06-12T08:18:00.000-07:00

It's done. I quit...or wait was I fired? The comment "we should part ways" was used by my boss, so which is it, the chicken or the egg. I mean we should part ways but don't leave just yet, I need your help, you can stay until you find something else (yeah likely). So I guess technically I am still employed by Mr. Passive Agressive. Whatever.

Getting ready to post about new doors and all that other shit you think and say to people who get fired, I mean quit. There is really no comfort mind you, but I am preparing to take the turn off of the easy ramp and onto the highway of the unknown, with all the crazy's just like me. Scary.

I am getting over the anger of how it "went down" but my husband is right it is for the best.

So I guess...uhhh...hello world, it's me Shannon I'm available...who wants to hire me.

Change

2008-06-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

I have changed my blog... I wanted the address to be my title and so on.

My title? My "mimi" (my maternal grandmother) was a a fireball. She was the glue that held our family together. She had a superior memory, a love for life and her family. When I was young, in all of my graceful tomboy glory, whenever I would trip over a crack in the pavement , crash on bike or skates or fall while running, she would greet me with my new band aid, ace bandage or cast with a simple "speaking of grace". She would then hug me and make the hurt from the wound go away.

Now that I am older I find that I am saying it to myself, when I drop a full can of diet coke, trip over a crack in the pavement or over my words as I try to make right a wrong for a poor choice in the daily grind of life. Everytime words echo in my mind I think of my Mimi, I wish she were here, for if nothing but a hug to make the pain from the "trip" go away, and to offer a word of wisdom to get back on course.

Speaking of Grace...I don't want to get caught up in the "trips" of my life, but I am not perfect, hell no one is. I just want to remember the giggle I would get out of the comment, remembering that all wounds heal, band aids do cover scars and that life does offer graceful moments if you take the time to notice.

~S

Starting...

2008-06-04T08:40:00.001-07:00

Sometimes cycles long to be broken, each month I pray mine will be. Here's to a new month!
~S

Remember...

2008-06-04T08:39:00.001-07:00

Back from a short trip to Las Vegas. Not that one needs any more than 3 days enjoying the spoils of a city so appropriately nicknamed. The trip itself was to meet with my mom and aunt to send them to the David Foster tribute concert. The joy they had at the concert was enough to make the trip a true success. I miss my family terribly and short visits always pull at my heart when saying goodbye. Every memory, those good and those bad flood my overly nostalgic mind as if my heart is pleading with my head to remember, to grab those memories, to remember the smell of my mom, as awkward as that may be, because it is truly the scent of home. When we part my mind then races for hours on all the memories stored. I think of the house I grew up in, the arguments between my parents and how they always made up, of my grandparents and sisters and friends. I think of home. I have lived away from home for over 10 years now. There have been the occasional extended trips back when my life has dealt me a hand of confusion, but for the most part I have not lived under the same roof or in the same city as my family for over a decade. I miss it. I miss Sunday dinners, laughing at movies, making fun of my little sister until she totally loses it (I know I am mean, but if you saw her all worked up over the fact that I can sit really close to her without touching her and watching her fight laughter while trying to act pissed off, well it is just down right funny), my sister tattling on me to my mother even at the age of 28, my older sister and her beautifully perfect family, my Dad and all the love he shows even with the shortest temper on the planet, my lovely 92 year old Memaw who still must color her hair and put on lipstick, and my beautiful niece and nephews and everything that makes them smile. I love my husband, I love my home and I love the city in which I live. But I will always miss my family, my first home and I thank God for the large novel my mind has written and that piece of my heart that always begs me to remember. ~S

Some Say I'm a Dreamer...

2008-06-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how reading one entry on another blog can get my mind running and set my fingers to typing. I was visiting Petunia Face and low and behold, I see a quote she has posted months back that jacks me all up and makes me realize why I started thinking about a blog in the first place. Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it. ~Ellen Goodman, American Journalist, 1941 I cried last night for a good hour while I drove to Home Goods to look for decor for my home that I have no idea how to decorate (not that I do not know how to decorate, that I don't know HOW to decorate) anyway crying because I am creatively in a rut, WAY TO NORMAL as the quote describes. I am buried by the mundane cycle that has become my life. My time feels ill spent, my nights in a nutshell: drive home, make dinner, eat ...which is always too late and then bitch about the growth of my ass and the rapid decline of my waist, by decline I mean fat, goodbye waist hello one size fits all. But the majority of the tears were being wasted over my job. I am a 9-5 hater. I do not enjoy what I do and that is the down right shame of it all. I have a degree in dreaming. Want to own my own business, check, I've dreamt it. Want to become an actress, CHECK, that is a dream us with said degree can spend days on! Want to be a writer, of books, of blab, of anything, check, check, check. The issue that dreaming creates is that when you dream you get so caught up in what if's and how to's that the actual do's tend to die with the dream, not die, too harsh, they fade. They fade into the corner of your mind and heart so that they become a memory to smile upon when triggered by life. I have vowed to make a change, vowed to my husband (who is ever so kind to listen to my dreams and actually believe in me to push me to make them happen) that I will DO something, anything. Problem…I am comfortable in my hating of my 9-5ness and probably more scared than I care to admit and throw in a little lazy and tell her what she has won…that’s right crying for an hour and bitching on a blog. So where am I and what am I gonna do about? This won’t be my last bitch post. This post however puts me one step closer to using the degree I have been working feverishly towards for 32 years. ~S

Deep Breath and...

2008-06-04T08:36:00.001-07:00

here I go. I don't know how long this "journal" will last, or who cares to read, but I am leaping. I have been waiting for the right time to begin the blogging life and today unlike yesterday or the days before seemed fitting. It could have been the inability to sleep and my mind spinning over the eternal "what am I going to do...with my career...with my house...with my weekend (and it is only Tuesday morning)" Things that I feel should be in place have seemed to found there way out and the pest known only as doubt has crept in. So why not throw some more in the mix and start this journey today? A question that I answered after 3 hours of sleep. So now that I am here what am I going to say? That I can hopefully answer tomorrow. ~S